College GuyPosted on: December 29, 2017, by : Nicole
Everyone is familiar with “College Guy”. He loves college. It’s his jam. He doesn’t see anything prior or beyond it. It’s his entire identity. In his natural environment he can be fun, spontaneous, even briefly witty. Once you remove him from campus life, he becomes “that guy”. The one who is compelled to ask everyone where they went, their activities, clubs, etc. Then he will talk ad nauseum about his school. It’s worse if he’s actually still enrolled. He will name drop his school every other sentence. If your alma mater isn’t up to snuff, he’ll exclude you from the conversation. As College Guy ages, it becomes worse. He can’t get past what he considers the most perfect time in his life.
So, when is the ideal time to date College Guy? You guessed it, while you’re in college, and then only briefly. You can’t have a future with someone who lives in the past. If you didn’t go to the same school, you’ll never be his equal. Any life you have with him will never measure up to the most perfect time in his life. Getting together with his old college buddies will always take priority. Ideally people grow and change with the new experiences in their life. They cherish that time, but know when to move on. College Guy never moves on.
Fortunately, it’s easy to identify College Guy. The longer he talks, and he likes to talk, the signs are extremely blatant. If you decide to date College Guy there are some things you need to take into consideration. The first date will usually be fun. College Guy loves to make a great first impression. He may come across as charming and romantic, perhaps even the perfect gentleman. Just wait, this will devolve into something strange and awkward as College Guy’s objective is always sex. Think back to the after-school specials of yore, they were warning you about this guy. College Guy is, however, all about the low hanging fruit. He doesn’t like to put a lot of effort into a relationship, he’s all about the easy sex. If that’s not something you’re into, all interaction will stop after the second date. Don’t be surprised if you get some incredibly diplomatic text. It will be puzzling and if you aren’t familiar with his mo. you’ll have a WTF moment. You may have a strange feeling you did something weird to drive him off. Stop it, stop it right now. It’s not you, it’s him, totally him.
Only have sex with College Guy if you want a short fling. The upside side is that it won’t get too serious, and when it’s over you’ll be able to easily move on with your life. It’s the type of summer love that songs are written about. If you are at a point where you want a serious partner who will be there for you through thick and thin, then avoid College Guy at all costs. You will never have the life you want with him. Don’t try, it will bring you nothing but misery.